Science & Medicine

Stem Cell Transplant — the Musical

Stem Cell Transplant… the Musical

by Chris Harper

Music by lots of folks

Cast: Our Gang of 1965, with Chris Harper, far left



I noticed that when running,

I find it hard to breathe

I have to keep on stopping

what it is I can’t conceive

That takes my breath away

 Take My Breath Away – TPAU


I found you under my skin,

This lump near my ribs

Is deep in the heart of me

And I am sure

It not really a part of me,

I found you under my skin.

   I got you under my skin – Sinatra

Initial Diagnosis

Sometimes you notice that its – hard to breathe,

And running – makes you heave,

But I’m afraid it’s gonna stay that way,

Once you were all clear,

But now it would appear,

This thing inside you is going to deride you,

cos my boy you have tainted blood .

     Tainted love – Soft Cell

Confirmed Diagnosis

What you thought was halitosis is Myelofibrosis, and that is not good news,

I can confirm my diagnosis as your marrow shows fibrosis , at level four.

I am afraid it is a gotcha as all we can do is watch ya, there is nothing else.

Some say an option is a transplant but my view is that you can’t, cos it ain’t proved.

Going Loco down in Acapulco – Four Tops

First Opinion

All this talk of getting cured,

by treatment, jabs and pills

We’ve a long way to go, before we know

we can even cure these ills,

Cos the drugs don’t work

They just make you worse

So we’ll just give you blood  again.

   The drugs don’t work – the Verve



Second Opinion


Can we fix it, yes we can –

Claire the builder, Can we fix it,

Claire the builder, yes we can –

I’ll send you to Kirsty

Kim, Amelia too

Doctors and nurses

Will help to fix you

     Bob The Builder Neil Morrissey

BMT Consultation

Hey there, we got something for you,

It’s a transplant, that is what we will do

Yes a transplant it could be a cure

But there’s one thing you will notice

You’re gonna have strange DNA, Yes you’re gonna get strange DNA

You might now like to shop

and dance til you drop

but you won’t reverse park a car!

But there, is a thing you might see

It is something we call GVHD

It must happen, because you will see

That you’ll need it to get better

So you’re gonna get GVHD, Yes you’re gonna get GVHD

You might feel the hots or develop some spots

It can come out in so many ways.

YMCA – Village People

Hunt For A Match

Many years ago

Your Mum and Dad

They had some great fun

Three kids they did have

Well we’ve tested their blood

And tissue too

And here’s the result

That is coming to you.

We know your Sisters are not a tissue match

It’s gonna be a MUD* transplant,

This adds a small catch

But we know it will work

If we find the right batch

* (MUD=Matched Unrelated Donor.)

  Sisters are doing it for themselves – Annie lennox




Finding A Donor

 We have searched just everywhere,

To find a match that you can share

Anthony Nolan came up trumps

So you should not be in the dumps

Ten-ten we got a match,

ten-ten there is a catch

ten-ten a plot we’ll hatch

ten-ten,  you’re getting girlie cells

    Bang, Bang – Cher


The Donor

 There a lady who’s good and she donates her blood

And she’s offering her cells for a transplant.

She’s a good match for you so do you want to go through

With the process of a stem cell transplant

Ooh, ooh, she’s providing a delay to heaven

   Stairway To heaven – Led Zeppelin



We got some antibodies, that come from a pet,

They will kill your immune system, on that we will bet.

You are going to feel, so very ill

But at least the NHS, is paying the bill.

You’ll be in isolation

You’ll be a bit of a pest.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.

  Rabbit,Rabbit. Chas & Dave


I won’t thank you for the daaaaaaaaaays – of headaches,

thirst, sore throats, diarrhoea and nausea

But I will always saaaaaaaaaay you did all you could,

to help me through because ya,

Helped me with fluids and the pills

As they just vanquished all my ills

Days – The Kinks

Post Cell Infusion

Hi ho hi ho its off to work we go, we’ll stop the moans , reline those bones Hi ho hi ho Hi ho

Hi ho hi ho This marrow is not so, it should be sponge but it is grunge. We’ll have to work and make it so.

Seven dwarves

Watching The Numbers

Who knows what tomorrow brings in a world where 3 from 5 get cured

All I know, are my results

And I feel

That I am quite alive

The road is long

There are transfusions on the way

And we reduce tablets every day

Blood levels up where they belong,  haemoglobin  flying, you’re no longer dying.

Blood levels will reduce your ills and without a scene will reduce your spleen

Up where we belong – Jennifer Warnes

 Impact On Spleen

I had a lump and I did not want it,

A marrow transplant should help to gone it,

You got much bigger with me feeling nothing

Something that you do

And your presence stopped me being physical

You took a little then you took me over

You set your mark on stealing my life away

Growing steadily, it was all about you

I’m really witnessing a spleen reduction,

it vanished quickly like removed by suction.

I wanna get you back under my ribs so you can watch me ski again

Chain Reaction – Dianna Ross


We’re from Woman cry my cells,

We’re resisting manly smells,

As we set about replacing all your marrow.

But I am still a man

So please do the best you can

And clean the bones so they work really well.

Oh, Yes,  it now works and its healing born of pain.

It has been hard work but look what I can gain.

I am strong,

I am much fitter now,

Saved by women!

   I am woman – Helen Reddy

Take me back to the Contents

© Chris Harper and, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission

Chris Harper, Age 6

from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Chris Harper and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Comments on: "Stem Cell Transplant — the Musical" (8)

  1. meryl dawes. said:

    So wish someone could perform this and post it on YouTube….we would love to hear it set to the music…. Just an idea…..any one willing to try?

  2. LOL!
    I am afraid it is a gotcha as all we can do is watch ya…delay to heaven…reline those bones..
    Right up there with the witty Broadway music of days gone by – thanks!

  3. meryl dawes. said:

    Wonderful..I love it… My husband is now day plus 24 since his transplant…. So grateful for this chance of life… After being diagnosed with PM 18 months ago……not an easy experience but he says well worth it for what it can offer…long road ahead to travel but we are positive and hopeful ……thanks to good doctors and the full match by a 28 year old male donor and the blood and platlet donors too ………good luck to all who choose to have a BMSCT…….

  4. Clever! And funny…………….

  5. Patsy Bushee said:

    Thanks for a needed
    smile on a very hot day-104!

  6. I recently spoke to an audience of patients who have Myeloprolific Neoplasms. In establishing the timescales I was asked by a well-known UK consultant how long I needed. I jokingly responded, 10-15 minutes unless I do MF-BMT The Musical. “I would like to hear that” was the response and items called Strange DNA and then Spleen Reduction were penned and sent back in a matter of minutes. ”if you do it I will accompany you on the Piano”. Well we won’t get that far but over the next week various things came to mind as I listened to my IPOD whilst out running or on the radio while driving. MF-BMT- The Musical was born.

    It is not pleasant being ill but I believe that laughter and a sense of humour are vital to help us get through it, I can see humour in lots of things be it wearing my Donald Duck Style Tena Lady knickers (extra Large!) during transplant or having ATG Rabbit conditioning, yes, created in a rabbit, to clear my immune system. I wrote this for a small audience of transplantees but Zhen thinks it might have wider appeal so I hope that you find some amusement in it. Can’t see Lloyd-Webber taking it up though.

  7. Chris, Your generosity in sharing your ability to support and inspire people seems endless. The date of the group picture is proof that your talents are your own and not transplanted. This fantastic new musical is a hot ticket that we here are lucky to get. It goes beyond support and inspiration –it is new and fresh, thought provoking and ‘Man’ is it entertaining.

  8. Brilliant! This made my day! Thanks Chris

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